I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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