Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
