She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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