Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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