Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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