those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm like, not good at living.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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