I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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