I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize