I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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