And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
