i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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