Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
