Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
