Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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