drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize