Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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