don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize