Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
