so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
