if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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