super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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