there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
