We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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