i just wanna soil my oats bro
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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