oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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