Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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