Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
