You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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