His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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