i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
