my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
