well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
