I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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