You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
