yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
