talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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