roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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