He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
