what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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