Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there was a trapeze. enough said
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
