It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize