He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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