..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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