Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
