you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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