thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
