Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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