All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
