He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
