Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize