Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
