Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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