I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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