If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
