Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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