You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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