I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
