What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
