I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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