How'd it feel making her break her religion?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
