i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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