ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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