I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
PANTIES FOUND
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